The Calm before the Storm
Let me preface this post by explaining that I love storms: I
love the way the moisture in the air clings to the inside of my nose, the way
the sky darkens as swollen clouds rapidly consume what was a clear blue sky
just minutes before. I get chills when those first droplets of water touch the
ground and I can’t help but smile when the thunder booms and echoes through the
sky and the lightning illuminates its surroundings, contrasting with the
darkness.
I have always referred to the first week of classes as the
calm before the storm. Sure, you feel a little overwhelmed on the first day and
you probably already have some (read: tons of) assigned reading and writing,
but the first week is the calmest week you will endure during the semester.
As the typical Kansas storm forms in mere minutes, the
academic storm forms in just one week: the blink of an eye to the student who
works, takes classes, and has a field placement.
It is with eager anticipation that I await the moment when
classes are in full swing but I also equally appreciate the days building up to
that moment: days like today.
Today was my second day at my placement. I was armed with a
desk, two months’ worth of lesson plans, a new seating chart, and my tangled
nerves, twisted into an uncomfortable knot in the pit of my stomach. Nerves
aren’t all bad for me, in fact the extra energy (read: borderline anxiety)
pushes me to put myself out there and do my best. As “my” students filled the
classroom, the hair on my arms began to stand upright. I donned a brave smile,
greeted each student over the blaring end-of-passing-period music, and directed
them to the seating chart. Over the course of the class period I tried to match
names with faces and then test myself by passing back papers. I failed my test
miserably: miserably but with a smile.
“This is the calm”, I thought to myself. This is the part where the
darkness fills the sky and the water droplets begin to fall. I love the calm. I
also love the storm.
I am the kind of person who likes to approach a problem,
especially a challenge, head on. I am beyond excited to throw myself into
teaching this class, bonding with these students, and absorbing everything I
can from my CT while adding my own personal flair when appropriate. I am ready
to try, succeed, fail, reflect, and try again.
As I adventure through this semester, I intend to find my
teaching voice. It’s easy to put on a brave face when you’re teaching something
that has already been created, reflected upon, and improved but when you are
creating something on your own as a novice instructor and giving it to students
it is something between judgement day and a cruel experiment (for me at least).
Will my students understand what I’m trying to explain? Will they think this is
too easy or too hard? Will they pick up on my silly puns? Is this the best way
to present the information? I think that this is a necessary thought process for
teachers before they present their students with new material but there comes a
point when you have to trust yourself and your voice and give it a try. If it
doesn’t work, you reflect and revise. My other goal for this semester is to
include as many hands-on activities as possible. Getting students actively
involved in the classroom is one of the best ways to get students directly
involved with their learning; this makes the students responsible for their own
education.
Bring on the storm!
Sincerely,
Ms. (Holli) Dawson
I LOVE the metaphor of a storm! I think that is a totally accurate way to describe the first week of school. As far as I've seen, seasoned teachers feel this too. Your goals are similar to my own and I think some of our fears are similar as well. Finding your own voice, especially in a shared classroom, will be a challenge. I am looking forward to reading how you approach this challenge! Do you have specific goals for certain students yet? I think those are the most challenging! But I think those type of goals are the most rewarding. I'm excited to see how you teach your students and what you learn and can teach your colleagues (me included!)
ReplyDeleteHolli,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this beautifully written, humor-infused reflection. I agree with Aleisha: the storm metaphor works really well. My friend and I were just talking about this the other day: although the first week of school is arguably the easiest academically, it is often the most difficult emotionally. As humans, we crave certainty, familiarity, and comfort. These traits are not afforded by the first week of school, and instead we are tasked with the awkward, nerve-wracking endeavor of figuring out a new schedule, new teachers, new students, new procedures, etc.
I too need too work on honing my teacher voice. We have to accept now that although we are still students ourselves, we are also authorities and professionals. Even if we are outside of our comfort zones, or if the hair on our arms is standing up, we must present ourselves as the professional authorities that we are.
I can already tell that you will be a real force in the classroom, so take heart, put on your rain slicker, and do the dang thing!
-Mary
Oh my goodness, Ms. Dawson! I loved reading this, and I love the responses it elicited from your colleagues. Thank you for putting such care and thought into your first post. From the opening images of the storm (moisture clinging to the insides of noses--love this, so true!) to the extended metaphor crafted throughout the piece--it is all lovely.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate your plan to trust yourself and your knowledge of your students and of curriculum design. You are so ready for this year and the teaching responsibilities that come with it. You have been preparing for the last several semesters, and it's time to shine. Enjoy every moment of this storm!
Holli, your description of the storm is so vivid I could almost feel and smell the cool air. I, too, love a storm in all its strength and wildness.
ReplyDeleteHow well you used the storm as a metaphor for the classroom. Sometimes you just have to love a storm to succeed in teaching.
I wish you well as you travel through the storm, learning to find your own voice as a teacher and making a difference in the lives of your students.